Twin A goes every day like clockwork, Twin B hasn't gone in 4 days. Same meals, same house. Help.
I genuinely cannot wrap my head around this. They eat the same breakfast, same dinner, sit at the same table, drink from the same water cups, and yet here we are. Twin A is totally regular. Twin B has gone four days without a real poop and is starting to do the leg-crossing, tip-toe walking thing that I now recognize as the "I need to go but I'm refusing to go" dance. They're both 3. This isn't the first time this has happened with Twin B. It kind of comes and goes in these stretches. We've been through this enough that I know it's probably not an emergency, but four days is where my anxiety starts ticking up. The thing is, they ARE different kids. Twin B is way more cautious about everything, including apparently using the bathroom. Twin A will just go wherever, whenever, no drama. Twin B seems to physically hold it when she's nervous or out of routine, and honestly last week was a weird week for us (houseguests, later bedtimes, different schedule). I've been offering more water, more fruit, the usual stuff we do. She had some pears yesterday. No result yet. I know I should just call her pediatrician if it stretches further but I guess I just wanted to hear if anyone else has one kid who holds it during stressful times and what that even looks like for you day to day.
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Oh the leg crossing dance, I know it so well. My granddaughter (4 now) did this exact thing for months. It looks almost like they're just fidgeting but you know, you just KNOW. The schedule disruption is real, children's bodies notice even when the kids themselves don't. My daughter-in-law always said a change in the house is a change in the tummy and I've seen it bear out so many times. Is Twin B eating okay otherwise? Does she seem uncomfortable or just holding?
Eating fine, actually ate a pretty normal dinner. Not complaining of pain exactly, just sort of grumpy and doing that stiff-legged walk. Which, if you've never seen it, is both heartbreaking and a little bit like watching a tiny robot malfunction.
The holding thing during stressful or off-routine weeks is so so common and it sounds like you already have good instincts about what's going on with her. The fact that she's eating, not in obvious pain, and you've had some pear in there, that's actually a reasonable place to be on day four. I know the waiting is the hardest part. My little one (21 months) goes through phases where anything different in our week just throws everything off, body included. Hang in there tonight.
Also just want to add, if she hits day five or six or you see any real distress or pain, please do reach out to the pediatrician rather than waiting it out longer. Just so it's said. You probably already know that but sometimes it helps to have someone else say it too.
following this. my baby is only 10 months so totally different situation but the anxiety of watching and waiting for a poop is like nothing I've ever experienced in my life. solidarity.
Poop watch is genuinely one of the more humbling parts of parenthood that nobody puts in the brochure.
My 13 year old has always been a holder, going back to when she was small. I really think some kids are just wired that way, anxious nervous systems that feel everything including changes in routine, and the gut is often the first place it shows up. What you're describing with the cautious temperament matching the bathroom behavior, I've read about that connection so many times over the years and watched it play out in my own house. It doesn't make it less frustrating but it does make it make sense in a way. At 13 it's a whole different thing because she won't talk about it, but at 3 you can still kind of be in there with her, have a calm routine around bathroom time, maybe some warm food in the morning, just gentle consistency. Not advice really, just thinking out loud from someone who's been watching this pattern in a kid for a long time.
This is so well said. I always thought it was just a physical thing but watching my granddaughter I started to see that when she was anxious about anything, a new place, a new person, the belly was always involved somehow. The connection between their feelings and their digestion seems so real. Can I ask, for the 13 year old, does it seem to get worse around school stress or tests and things like that?
UPDATE: She went. Not a lot but she went. I actually teared up a little which is absolutely where I am in life right now. We did a warm bath after dinner and just kept things really calm and low stimulation and I think it helped her relax enough. She's asleep now. Thank you all for tonight, genuinely. The comment about the nervous system and gut connection really clicked something for me about her specifically. I'm going to try to be more proactive about keeping her routine steady, especially around visits and changes. And yes I will call the pediatrician if this becomes a pattern again. I already have the number basically memorized at this point. Still a little baffled that Twin A is just out here thriving while Twin B and I are having a whole evening about it. Same womb, people. Same womb.
So glad. Sleep well tonight, both of you.